Pete Almond

Peçi Bajamka (Pete Almond)______________________
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Peter Painter, a.k.a. Pete Almond (original Albanian Petraq Bojaxhi or Peçi Bajamka, pronounced Pechy Bayamka)(c. 20th C - c. 21st C.) was an Albanian (?!) socialite, philosopher, psychologist, linguists, anthropologist, international espionage agent, and political advisor.
Contents [hide]
1 Early life
2 Philosophy
3 Linguistic Influences
4 Spy life
5 Political impact
6 Social legacy
7 References
8 External links

Early life.__________________
The Albanian-German connection. While very little is known about the birth and early life of Peter Bojaxhi , many nations claim him as their native. Having lived and contributed mostly in the South-Eastern town of Korça (pronounced Korcha) ha is generally believed to be Albanian. However, based on DNA samples, his superb will power and his surname (Bojaxhi - Painter), a number of German and Austrian biographers strongly believe that he is related to a famous and powerful "painter" of the Germanic world in the years when Peter Bojaxhi was born - late 1930ties - early 1940ties. In his 800 page biography of Hitler "Das Fürher " (Muthause, 1945) biographer Bernard von Wolfhausen dedicates a special chapter entitled "Das Illegitimer Sohn" to one of Fürher 's best kept secrets, a "geheime Liebesaffäre" (secret love affair) with an exotic "Albanisch Dame". Wolfhausen writes that right after giving birth to a son, both the mother and the newborn baby were sent to a remote town in the South-Eastern part of Albania, well known for its healthy climate and for its indifferent citizens. Wolfhausen indicates that only King Zog I of Albania knew about the arrangement; which explains the real special present Fürher made to King Zog on the occasion of his wedding (a Mercedes Benz 540K - a similar one was given only to King Farouk of Egypt, another Albanian) and the special treatment he always reserved for Albania. He goes on to speculate that had Hitler won the war, Peter Bojaxhi might have ended up inheriting the largest empire in the history of the planet. For obvious reasons Peter Almond himself was never willing to admit the connection.
The Vatican and other connections. The other plausible connection by birth was that with the Nobel Peace Prize winner Mother Teresa of Calcutta, nè Gonxhe Bojaxhi. Although reluctant to admit this, too (the famous nun being considered as dangerous as the Fürher by the Communist regime in Albania), Almond himself has indicated in one or two occasions that the common last name is not just a mere coincidence. As it will be mentioned later, the two had more in common. However, because of the relation to Mother Teresa, Mr. Peter Almond was claimed by a number of countries, including Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, the Vatican and India. The Vatican is currently considering a proposal for beautification. It is also a proven fact that one of the reasons Greeks claim the Southern part of Albania as their own Vorio Epir (Northern Epir) is that they want to prove that Korça, as a town, is Greek, which will automatically give them the right to consider Peter Bojaxhi Bajamka as e Greek hero. Incidentally, Pete Almond was fluent in Albanian, German, Macedonian, Greek, Latin, Hindi and a few other major and minor languages.
Philosophy________________
Bajamka's philosophical outlook was communicated through his wise adages and fabulous quotes, a brief summary of which comprises the 13 volumes of a work in progress by the Australian Academy of Science and Contemporary Studies in Perth. There is a consensus among the academia involved with the corpus philosophica of Pete Bajamka that his entire philosophical momentum can be summarized in his monumental maxim "Qingji i butë pi dy tëtëma!" The six words included in this saying embody such an intensity of meaning and connotation, such a strong philosophical essence, that it has been impossible to translate in any of the known languages of the world, dead or alive, and has required volumes of detailed work to explain.
Linguistic Influences_____________
As noted in the above paragraph, Bajamka's language was rich, intense and very innovative. Many Albanan contemporaries wrongly believed that the way he used their language proved his foreign origin - either Germanic, or Latin, or Hindi. However, the opinion of experts in the field of linguistics goes to the opposite direction. They maintain that Bajamka was creating a revolution in the use of the Albanian language, by getting rid of unnecessary endings and redundant articulations, thus rendering the language lighter, easier to understand and more cosmopolitan. Forms like: "Të të gënje u ty, s'e bë dot; të të bë qefi u ty s'e bë dot," are considered by many to be the language that will be used in Albania in the 22nd Century. As in many other fields, in Linguistics Bajamka was far ahead of his time.
Spy Life_______________
In a world of intrigue and espionage, Pete Almond was not a bystander. As the wide range of his pseudonyms proves, he was a man of different faces, appearances, personalities and connections. Pete Almond is believed to have simultaneously served for the secret services of the US, UK, USSR, China, Yugoslavia, Greece, Turkey, Vatican, Albania and Burundi. In the early 1960ties he greatly confused the special agents at an Albanian border crossing, when he appeared dressed like a vagabond and declared: "Pedhjamu, jemi tanët." (A declaration also difficult to translate because of its linguistic intensity.) The puzzling or otherwise meaningful element in this story is that, contrary to everyone's expectation, the Communist Regime didn't even think of penalizing him for the incident.
Political impact________________
It is strongly believed (and rightly so) that Pete Almond has always had a strong influence in the decision making process of at least the country where he lived most of his life, Albania. When asked about some erroneous policies of 1980, Pete Almond was caught unaware saying: "Enver (Hoxha) and I know nothing about this. Maybe Mehmet (Shehu) has acted on his own will." Not long after, Shehu, the longest serving Prime Minister of Albania, the closest and oldest comrade of Enver Hoxha was removed from the political scene in a spectacular yet to be solved murder/double-suicide elimination.
As expected, after Hoxha's death Peçi Bajamka became the moving hand behind puppet leader Ramiz Alia, the real eminence grey that took care of the affairs and a liaison between the powerful Hoxha widow with the powerless Albanian Politburo.
Communism in Albania fell after a strong student movement which was directly influenced by Bajamka's ideals of freedom and democracy and his direct guidance and mentoring of many of their leaders. He is credited with hand-selecting the heads of the two main political parties that have dominated the Albanian political scene since them. He exercised his political influence mainly through the ambassadors of the United States and the European Union and by periodically bringing to the country an elite group of friends, ranging from President George W. Bush and Norman Wisdom, to Pope John Paul II.
Social legacy_____________________
A considerable chunk of the academic world supports the idea that the major contribution of Peçi Bajamka to the current Albanan society was given through his social life and connection. Attacked by his enemies as a "womanizer" and adored by his followers as a "charming, irresistible" romantic, the life-time bachelor is thought to have added hundreds of names to his list of amorous conquests. A strong opponent of contraceptives and birth control (another argument to connect him with Mother Teresa and the Vatican), Peçi Bajamka has fathered (according to some reliable sources) half of the Albanian current parliament, a strong evidence to this being their exceptional intellectual level, worthy only of a special type of DNA. In his yet to be published Memoires Bajamka admits a short passionate affair with the blonde wife of the Russian commander of the Military Base of Pasha Liman, General Michail Putin, in the late 1950ties. The affair was the real reason behind the crack in the relations between Moscow and Tirana that later led to China and Albania separating from the Communist Block. The Military Base Commander and his wife returned to Moscow and led a private, low profile life, taking care of a son that was born a few months later. They named him Vladimir.
(This article is still under construction)