Pope's Press Conference

Pope Francis told reporters that Vatican will accept 12,000 Syrian refugees from Somalia, Sudan, and Egypt this year. There is only one condition, the Pope said. There are no families in Vatican, so the refugees have to be single. Boys. Celebrations in the Holy City have already started.

Which prompted one of the reporters to ask:

“Isn’t this large number of boys within reach of so many priests going to create a problem?”

To which the Pope answered with a smile: “Not if we manage to keep it a secret.”

Another  reporter asked:

“Aren’t all these young Muslims going to be a threat to the virginity of the Vatican nuns?”

To which the Pope gave exactly the same answer. “Not if we manage to keep it a secret.” And then added, “Also, our nuns are dressed like decent Christian women, not like a whores. The chances of provoking young Muslims are very slim.”

“You have declared that Christians build bridges, not walls…” said another reporter.

“Yes, and that’s true. The Great Wall of China and the Wall Street were built by non-Christians. The Bridge of Sighs, on the other hand, was built by Christians.”

“That’s not what I wanted to ask,” insisted the same reporter. “When you use the word Christian, do you mean a good person, as opposed to a non-Christian being, hmmm, not so good a person?”

The Pontiff looked at it intently for a few seconds and then just exclaimed:

“Duh!”

Finally, another reporter asked him about the rumor circulating these days that the Vatican plans to put down all the walls surrounding the Holy City and, so that it would build with its stones a bridge to connect Italy with Africa, thus giving the immigrants an easier passage to Europe. After pondering the answer for a minute Pope Francis said:

“If African immigrants want to march to Europe, they better start learning how to walk on water. A guy I know from around that region used to do it.”